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Old 07-08-2012, 10:06 PM
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Default Re: Pokémon: Conifer [SU/DS]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Acps199610 View Post
Spoiler:
Character One (1)
Name: Nick Sato

Birthday and Age: June 10, 1996 (16)

Are they Mutated?: Yes

Appearance: A male boy with the color of brown hairs. He always been wearing a worn-out light gray T-shirt with a Nike's logo on the middle of the shirt along with a dark jeans. He has a tail of Feraligatr that connected to his tailbone (The part of human spine that locate very bottom of it). Nick's color of eyes are dark red as the one that Feraligatr has. His hands was not just regular human hands, because it also were sharp, alligator-like claws.

Personality: Cool and calm, also can be in very protective of others that he cared, such as friends, family members, anyone. After the effect from the eclipse, his personality became more dangerous once in while by lose the control of his fury, and are very possibly chance that he will harm anyone, or anything that stands in his way.

History
Nick was born, and raised in the city Portland in Oregon, United State. His parents abandoned him to the foster home when he turned age of eight (8). For whole 4 years, no one came to adopt him, and one night later, he ran away from the foster home toward to the other cities in Oregon. Travelling across the boarder into the state of California. For few months he been living on the street, trying to find a way to the coastline, but for whole time, he been travelling toward to other side of the California, away from the coast. He arrived at Arizona just a day before he turn 13 years old. In the month of August, He again, reached to the another boarder of the state, and crossed into the New Mexico state. Nick then found a job in New Mexico that should be able to get him some money, but were fired after a month pasted due to work on the task poorly. For past few week, he been trying to earn more money, the goals of collecting money were to 200 dollars, just enough for him to get new clothes, foods, and possibly transportation, aka, bicycle. He never earned enough money, but only 40 bucks that he got from his job before he were fired, and brought some cheap clothes from the local stores. When he was reported as "shoplifter" shortly after buying a clothes, he fled from the cities to cities in run from the polices for "stealing" a 100 dollars worth of clothes, such as a T-shirt with a Sonic The Hedgehog's picture on it, a pare of skateboarding shoes made by DC, and a baggy jeans with a chains hang over from some of the back pocket.
As he was on run, he reached to the boarder that lead into the Colorado, and stay low there for a 4 months. After the months were pasted, Nick then left his alley in the month of December, trying to find a new place to stay warm, rather than being frozen to death in the cardboard box. He traveled to the abandoned house just a few blocks down from his street, and stayed there for the whole winter, fed on some garbage foods that he found from the dumpster. On the month of March, Nick left the house when the temperature were warm enough for him to go down couple blocks to the local clothing store, and went into there. About 20 minutes were pasted, an alarm were set off as Nick ran out of the store with a brand new Nike's shirt, a black jeans, and a 100 dollars worth of pare of shoes. After that event, he been on the run toward to the city of Conifer to find a new cover. On the day of the eclipse, Nick were staring at it just outside one of the local markets area on the street, and for whole month, he been thought that it was just a lights around him that been bothering him a lot. But the effect were not impact on him right away, somehow, when he was being chased by police for the shoplifting in the other cities, the police were just close to him as they were shouting at Nick to stop running and turn himself in. Nick was not thinking about that, but he turned toward to them and shout back to stop chasing him. An unexpected event was that he just squirt a water gun at the one of the policeman, caused the man to slam into the dumpster. While all other policemen were focus on helping one of his man, Nick took this chance as to escape from them by run around the corner toward to an abandoned house, hoped that policemen never saw him entered it.
Your Character’s Relationships:
Tin- Nick saw Tin on the day that eclipse were occur, just down the street and when he see what Tin were doing, he looked up toward to the eclipse just about few minutes after Tin did.
Michael Barret- Only once did Nick saw him when he was strolling past the school, watching the students around the school even though he has no ideas why did he do it.

Other: N/A

Altered Subsection

Pokemon: Feraligatr

Abilities:
  • Water Gun
  • Ice Fang
  • Bite
  • Aqua Tail


*Note: Also, please excuse my bad grammar if there is any. Because English is not really my first, or primary language.
Welcome Acps, I really like the direction that this character is going. At the same time, your sections are quite neglected. The personality and appearance have good starts, but it seems like there's more information in the history about both of those than in either of those respective sections. I would highly suggest doubling their length and elaborating on specifics. In addition, your history covers the eclipse, but it says nothing about the two month gap between that event and the beginning of the RP. How has he survived for two months inside of a city when being considered a criminal and having a very distinguishing mutation? Finally, the abilities section does not refer to attacks, it's more of a broad term for superpowers that the mutation has granted. In the world of Conifer, nobody can tell what specific move a Mutate is using, they only see the end result. Look at other entries for ideas; inspirations for abilities can come from naturally learned moves, in-game Abilities, or even Pokedex entries.

Oh, a small note, a quick run through Microsoft Word's Spelling and Grammar Check can help double-check your English.
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