Thread: [Pokemon] Arceus: A Deity in Need
View Single Post
  #17  
Old 11-02-2011, 08:31 PM
Max0596's Avatar
Max0596 Offline
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Shibuya UG-Scramble Crossing
Posts: 835
Send a message via MSN to Max0596
Default Re: Arceus: A Deity in Need

Please double space when a nother person starts talking, EX.

"Hey!" Jim said as he bounded across the field, towards his friend.

"Huh?" said Bob as he turned around to see Jim.

It's hard to change it, I know, but it makes the story a hundred times easier to read, trust me.

Other than that, I like the rate hthat you're updating, but, another example here: "like a chirping buzz like sound" I think sounds much better as "like a chirping buzz-like sound" and I'm pretty sure it's correct too.

But keep going!
__________________

|||||||||||||||Enjoy the moment!
|||||||||||||||I take requests...if you want stuff, I mean...
Reply With Quote