View Single Post
Old 10-14-2011, 09:02 AM
Temporal Diamond's Avatar
Temporal Diamond Offline
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Fifth floor, West of Hogwarts.
Posts: 537
Send a message via MSN to Temporal Diamond
Default Re: Saraibre Ryu vs. sammy0295 [Ref: Fox]

*pops in and leaves behind a letter to whom it may concern*

Mena’s speed is faster than Kanya now, she could use the chance to attact Kanya first before she could do anything else.
Put a semi-colon there. Why? Because it makes everything looks nicer both physically and grammatically, no? ;)

Kituna watched her mother carefully, Mena whispered something to her daughter and spit up some liquid from her mouth.
Look at the previous error, now look at this one. Questions?

A big doll looked realy like Kangaskhan was standing there.
Really now? xD

Kituna murmured and blame her mother.
Past tense.

But suddenly, her nerve system hurt.
Nothing's wrong spelling and grammar-wise but the proper term is 'nervous system'. c:

*checks list* Three down, two to go. C:

ASB | VPP | Poetry | Art

Click please? :3