09-27-2011, 12:37 PM
Kage no Hikari.
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: In my own world.
Re: Team StormRiders [PG-13] [Gold; Best Pokemon Author; MotY'10]
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune
This is for chapter 34, by the way!
Should be 'whose'.
You forgot to separate these paragraphs. :3
I think this is a typo, and should be 'cocked her head'. xD
The apostrophe on the end of Hunters shouldn't be there.
'these' should be 'those', or 'was' should be 'is'.
Should probably be 'on', not 'in'.
Forgot to separate these too.
The apostrophe is facing the wrong way. xD
You didn't separate these either.
I thought I'd read this chapter! I can't believe I hadn't until just now. xD But yeah, I liked it. o: I really enjoyed the conversation between Zanna and Tali. I honestly didn't expect Tali to open up to Zanna like that, though, and I really wasn't expecting her to smile at her, either. xD And punch her. Ouch. The history between Tali and Rakai is pretty sad, too. D: It's a shame he went wild and changed so much. Dx I don't like Tali much, but I feel sorry for her anyway. xD
I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T FIND OUT WHAT THAT POKEMON WAS. And I have no idea who Eon is either. xD I don't know if she's been in the story or not. I actually thought Eon and the pokemon that went with Dash was the same pokemon until I read Kris' comment, haha. xD If Eon's been mentioned before (which, by Kris' comment, it sounds like she has), but if she has, I've forgotten. xD I hope I get to find out more about her and the green pokemon during the next chapter, which I plan to read after I do some homework. :x I'm in the mood to keep reading now, but I know I have to do some work first.
And in response to Lusy's comment, you are quick at updating. xD I haven't released a chapter in four months... That is SHAMEFUL of me. Epically shameful. Stupid school. >.> Hopefully I can get another chapter up soon. Anyhow. Nice chapter. I noticed a lot of "none too *word*" phrases repeated through the chapter, though. But oh well. xD
I'll be back to read your new chapter soon!
EDIT: LOL DON'T WORRY. I remember Eon now. *has read a bit of the next chapter* I'll read it tomorrow, since I can't now. xD But yeah, I'll be sure to post another review!
Thanks for catching all those, I'll change 'em when I get the time. xD Also stupid Word that doesn't separate paragraphs grrrrr. x3
I don't know, I think Tali just needed someone to confide in. xD If you go for too long keeping everything bottled up you'll eventually explode. All I can say is thank Arceus she didn't explode. XD I actually kinda hated Tali, when I first made her. But she's growing on me now. x3
Yeeeeaaahh, it's probably been so long since I mentioned Eon you would have forgotten. XD The next chapter would make it clearer, though, I think. xD And you'll soon see that Eon is fairly similar to Tali. Maybe worse in some cases. x3 I can't wait till I get to writing chapter 36, though. THE FUN BEGINS!
Well I'm not THAT quick at updating...I used to be real quick, a couple of years ago when I had tonnes of inspiration. Like once a week or two, quick. xD But somehow I kinda lost it. I think that's cause I started getting more involved in school and such. I guess life took over. BAD, LIFE. BAD. *shuns life* xD
Anywho, thanks for reading! You're now my typo catcher since Kris left. xD