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Old 09-27-2011, 12:37 PM
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Gem N Ems Offline
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Default Re: Team StormRiders [PG-13] [Gold; Best Pokemon Author; MotY'10]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post
This is for chapter 34, by the way!



Should be 'whose'.


You forgot to separate these paragraphs. :3



I think this is a typo, and should be 'cocked her head'. xD



Two-pokemon units?


The apostrophe on the end of Hunters shouldn't be there.


'these' should be 'those', or 'was' should be 'is'.

Next post:


Should probably be 'on', not 'in'.


Forgot to separate these too.


The apostrophe is facing the wrong way. xD


You didn't separate these either.

I thought I'd read this chapter! I can't believe I hadn't until just now. xD But yeah, I liked it. o: I really enjoyed the conversation between Zanna and Tali. I honestly didn't expect Tali to open up to Zanna like that, though, and I really wasn't expecting her to smile at her, either. xD And punch her. Ouch. The history between Tali and Rakai is pretty sad, too. D: It's a shame he went wild and changed so much. Dx I don't like Tali much, but I feel sorry for her anyway. xD

I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T FIND OUT WHAT THAT POKEMON WAS. And I have no idea who Eon is either. xD I don't know if she's been in the story or not. I actually thought Eon and the pokemon that went with Dash was the same pokemon until I read Kris' comment, haha. xD If Eon's been mentioned before (which, by Kris' comment, it sounds like she has), but if she has, I've forgotten. xD I hope I get to find out more about her and the green pokemon during the next chapter, which I plan to read after I do some homework. :x I'm in the mood to keep reading now, but I know I have to do some work first.

And in response to Lusy's comment, you are quick at updating. xD I haven't released a chapter in four months... That is SHAMEFUL of me. Epically shameful. Stupid school. >.> Hopefully I can get another chapter up soon. Anyhow. Nice chapter. I noticed a lot of "none too *word*" phrases repeated through the chapter, though. But oh well. xD

I'll be back to read your new chapter soon!

EDIT: LOL DON'T WORRY. I remember Eon now. *has read a bit of the next chapter* I'll read it tomorrow, since I can't now. xD But yeah, I'll be sure to post another review!

~GS.
Thanks for catching all those, I'll change 'em when I get the time. xD Also stupid Word that doesn't separate paragraphs grrrrr. x3

I don't know, I think Tali just needed someone to confide in. xD If you go for too long keeping everything bottled up you'll eventually explode. All I can say is thank Arceus she didn't explode. XD I actually kinda hated Tali, when I first made her. But she's growing on me now. x3

Yeeeeaaahh, it's probably been so long since I mentioned Eon you would have forgotten. XD The next chapter would make it clearer, though, I think. xD And you'll soon see that Eon is fairly similar to Tali. Maybe worse in some cases. x3 I can't wait till I get to writing chapter 36, though. THE FUN BEGINS!

Well I'm not THAT quick at updating...I used to be real quick, a couple of years ago when I had tonnes of inspiration. Like once a week or two, quick. xD But somehow I kinda lost it. I think that's cause I started getting more involved in school and such. I guess life took over. BAD, LIFE. BAD. *shuns life* xD

Anywho, thanks for reading! You're now my typo catcher since Kris left. xD
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