View Single Post
  #36  
Old 07-10-2011, 06:02 PM
Hoshika's Avatar
Hoshika Offline
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: '\(ಠ_ಠ)/'
Posts: 6,618
Default Re: [WAR X] Humor 2011 - IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU SPOKE UP TODAY

okay I'm gonna do a quick rundown with scores, I don't know how to get into detail about the millions of corny fish jokes in here :(

WINNERS:
1. Iso (Octopus Babies)
2. Husnain (Octopus Babies)
oh baby
Quote:
Originally Posted by SLC View Post
WHAT DO YOU CALL A FISH WITH NO EYES!?!

A FSH!!!!!!!!

I suck :(
okay :(

4/10

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3m0d0ll View Post
Brb while I Google fish jokes.

Spoiler:

Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon!

Where do little fishes go every morning?
To plaice school!

What fish goes up the river at 100mph?
A motor pike!

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
He prawned everything!

1st kipper: 'Smoking's bad for you'
2nd kipper: 'It's OK, I've been cured'

What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather?
Skate!

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh!

What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbors?
A hermit crab!

What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
As far away as possible!

Why did the whale cross the road?
To get to the other tide!

Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
To the prawn broker!

What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather!

What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
He got lockjaw!

Where do fish wash?
In a river basin!

What fish only swims at night?
A starfish!

How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale!

Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish!

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!

Where do you weigh whales?
At a whale weigh station!

What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse!

Where are most fish found?
Between the head and the tail!

What kind of fish will help you hear better?
A herring aid!

What do fish sing to each other?
Salmon-chanted evening!

How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!

Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row!

What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
Monkfish!

What bit of fish doesn't make sense?
The piece of cod that passeth all understanding!

What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings?
A fish tank!

What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish?
Tsardines!

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I wanna hold you hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!

What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?
A flat fish!

What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?
A beer-a-cuda!

Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?
Billy the Squid!

What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set!

What's the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!

What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people!

What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish!

Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea?
Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside!

How do the fish get to school?
By octobus!

Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed!

What kind of money do fishermen make?
Net profits!

What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird's leg and a hand?
Birdsthigh fish fingers!

What kind of noise annoys an oyster?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster! (Try saying that fast!)

What kind of fish goes well with ice-cream?
Jellyfish!

What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?
'Your plaice or mine'!

Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the 'Kelp-wanted' adds!

Why is a fish easy to weigh?
Because it has its own scales!

Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear?
Because they have electric 'eels!

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!

To whom do fish go to borrow money?
The loan shark!

Why are gold fish orange?
The water makes them rusty!

Who held the baby octopus to ransome?
Squidnappers!

What part of a fish weighs the most?
It's scales!

What fish do road-menders use?
Pneumatic krill!

What happens when sharks take their clothes off?
They go sharkers!

What game do fish like playing the most?
Name that tuna!

What do naked fish play with?
Bare-a-cudas!

What do you get if you cross a big fish with an electricity pylon?
An electric shark!

Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea?
Jack the kipper!

What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?
Whale of fortune!


No, I did not copy and paste from this website.

VILE.
oh my god

4/10

Quote:
Originally Posted by JokesterJesse View Post
What did one fish say to to another fish?

Were both fish.\


Team vile
gud 1

5/10

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fierce Deity View Post
VILE

Ok, a cat and his best friend, a fish, were at school right. Someone was fighting the cat, so then:

Cat: "Fish, help!"
Fish: "No, I'm a paciFISH"

So after he made that joke, right, they started to
it ended all of a sudden, what the

4/10

Quote:
Originally Posted by -Pichu Boy- View Post
The Cullen

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other "How do you drive this thing?"
I did not see this coming

5/10

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Jr Trainer View Post
2 + 2 = <><

btw i'm an octopus baby, i think i know my stuff
B)

4/10

Quote:
Originally Posted by LS the Door Mat View Post
NAME:LS

TEAM: Octupus Babies

ENTRY: Clicky
as much as I find hearing you speak amusing, that was really corny too :(

5/10

Quote:
Originally Posted by alaskapidove View Post
So this is mine, and it's kind of long, so bear with me. I told this to someone on AIM and cp'd it because I'm a lazy ass, by the way.

okay so
one day a fish is swimming just under the surface of the water
and a fly is flying just out of the fishes jumping distance
and the fish says to itself
if that fly comes six inches closer, ill jump up and eat him
and just then a bear on the shore look sand says, if that fish comes any closer, itll jump up and i can catch it and eat him
a little farther away, a hunter sees whats going on and says 'if that fly moves closer to that fish, itll jump and the bear will get it and ill shoot th ebear'
and then a rat standing behind the hunter thinks 'if that fly moves closer to the fish, itll jump and the bear will get it, and the hunter will shoot the bear, and i can get the sandwich from his pocket'
and behind the rat, a cat is watching everything and goes 'if that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, the rat will get the sandwich, and ill get the rat'
then the fly drops a few inches, the fish gets the fly, the bear grabs the fish, the hunter shoots the bear, the rat grabs the sandwich, and the cat jumps and misses the rat and lands in the lake
the moral of the story is: if the fly drops six inches, the pussy will get wet
jegus :(

3/10

Quote:
Originally Posted by Iso View Post
Name: Iso
Team: Octopus Babies:
Entry: Click here.
made me chuckle

7/10

Quote:
Originally Posted by Husnain View Post
hot girl: want to go fishing?
near: no my fishing level is already 99
OH U

20/10 hus wins 6/10



Okay so HUMOR WILL NOT BE GOING ON FOR WEEK 3. THIS IS WHAT YOU GUYS GET FOR PASTING GRANDPA JOKES INTO YOUR SUBMISSIONS. :'(

Humor Event will resume Week 4.
__________________
Spoiler:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ridley View Post
I suffer from some desease where I just don't feel like catching a pokemon unless it's rare, which ends in me never catching com mons.

I finished Gold with a pokedex of 6.

Oak's Rating: "Congratulations! Looks like you've learned how to use a pokeball!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charbok View Post

Haagen-Daz is an ice cream company, dumbass.


Last edited by Hoshika; 07-10-2011 at 06:29 PM.
Reply With Quote