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Old 07-04-2011, 04:57 AM
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Default Re: [WAR X] Humor 2011 - HOLY SARDINES, BATMAN

Brb while I Google fish jokes.

Spoiler:

Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon!

Where do little fishes go every morning?
To plaice school!

What fish goes up the river at 100mph?
A motor pike!

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
He prawned everything!

1st kipper: 'Smoking's bad for you'
2nd kipper: 'It's OK, I've been cured'

What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather?
Skate!

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh!

What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbors?
A hermit crab!

What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
As far away as possible!

Why did the whale cross the road?
To get to the other tide!

Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
To the prawn broker!

What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather!

What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
He got lockjaw!

Where do fish wash?
In a river basin!

What fish only swims at night?
A starfish!

How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale!

Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish!

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!

Where do you weigh whales?
At a whale weigh station!

What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse!

Where are most fish found?
Between the head and the tail!

What kind of fish will help you hear better?
A herring aid!

What do fish sing to each other?
Salmon-chanted evening!

How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!

Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row!

What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
Monkfish!

What bit of fish doesn't make sense?
The piece of cod that passeth all understanding!

What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings?
A fish tank!

What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish?
Tsardines!

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I wanna hold you hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!

What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?
A flat fish!

What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?
A beer-a-cuda!

Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?
Billy the Squid!

What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set!

What's the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!

What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people!

What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish!

Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea?
Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside!

How do the fish get to school?
By octobus!

Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed!

What kind of money do fishermen make?
Net profits!

What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird's leg and a hand?
Birdsthigh fish fingers!

What kind of noise annoys an oyster?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster! (Try saying that fast!)

What kind of fish goes well with ice-cream?
Jellyfish!

What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?
'Your plaice or mine'!

Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the 'Kelp-wanted' adds!

Why is a fish easy to weigh?
Because it has its own scales!

Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear?
Because they have electric 'eels!

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!

To whom do fish go to borrow money?
The loan shark!

Why are gold fish orange?
The water makes them rusty!

Who held the baby octopus to ransome?
Squidnappers!

What part of a fish weighs the most?
It's scales!

What fish do road-menders use?
Pneumatic krill!

What happens when sharks take their clothes off?
They go sharkers!

What game do fish like playing the most?
Name that tuna!

What do naked fish play with?
Bare-a-cudas!

What do you get if you cross a big fish with an electricity pylon?
An electric shark!

Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea?
Jack the kipper!

What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?
Whale of fortune!


No, I did not copy and paste from this website.

VILE.
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Last edited by 3m0d0ll; 07-04-2011 at 06:11 AM.
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