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Old 07-02-2011, 03:55 AM
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Default Re: [WAR X] Humor 2011 - JUST SUBMIT SOMETHING ALREADY

NAME: Pika57
TEAM: Octopus Babies
ENTRY:


Relationships are some of the most special things in the world.

I feel that to best express the specialness of relationships, I need to tell you a story. This story began a long time ago, in a land far across the sea.

In a small cottage, located on the far side of a mountain, near a mighty river, into which an industrial plant emptied its waste, which contained large amounts of corrosive substances, most of which would be classified as acids, a child was born. This child, though initially small, would grow into a mighty lesbian, one whose cankles would envelope the very earth on which we tread.

In a similar cottage (Mail order, from Sears. You're too young to understand), located near different acids, a young lad was born, who, lets face it, may very well have actually been a lesbian, but was more noted for his inability to distinguish sexual acts from varieties of fish.

In any case, these two youth would eventually meet, in a scenario that can be best described as a clustertruck(because apparently **** is a bad word). While on a pilgrimage to a nearby religious site, the lesbian became lost among a crowd of nonbelievers (in the process of being stoned). The lesbian, unable to see the truth from the false, left that question blank, and cowered in fear (this was before her lesbian abilities were at full strength). The young lad/maybe also a lesbian somehow saw her cowering, and, fearing that the lesbian would get all emo (Emo lesbians? Ew.), rushed to her aid, only to be elbowed in the face by a passing haberdasher. The lesbian was so moved by his bold sacrifice that the lesbian rushed to his side, and from that moment, they were inseparable.

Eventually, they began to date, which given them being about seven, didn't make a whole lot of sense. Also, one of them was a lesbian, and the other was only maybe a lesbian, so this put a damper on the relationship. A lot. But they persevered, and soon, they were madly in love (or at least doing each other on a regular basis), and soon, they were to attend their first dance.

The lad (potential lesbian) tapped his peg leg impatiently, awaiting his date at the entrance to his local Wal-Mart. Glancing at his wrist watch every few minutes, he began to fear that the (mighty) lesbian may have been captured by terrorists/nuns/the Portuguese, and swiftly called the police.

The lesbian, meanwhile, was off doing another female, as lesbians commonly do. Upon being discovered by the local SWAT Team (read: drunken rednecks with guns), she was set to be hung, and was only rescued by the timely intervention of Lando Callrissian (her partner, half a clone of Marilyn Monroe, was not so lucky, and was left to fend for herself against mecha JFK).

The lad (lesbian?) was hurt by this betrayal (what?), and confronting the lesbian, explained that his feelings were badly hurt. She accused him of being a *******. He accused her of being a lesbian (duh). She accused him of eating excessive quantities of celery. He unloaded a full clip into her.

And they went to see a movie afterwards, and ended their relationship on a friendly note.

In the end, all things considered, I feel that things really could have worked out. They were so young, and so in love. And so I end this story on this note:

HKim, Neo- I don't know that you realize what you had. But one day, I truly hope that you'll understand, and that you'll be able to reconcile, and find the strength to love again.
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