The Top 4 Failed Celebrity Shippings
We all know that obnoxious person that will not
shut up about who's wearing what and who's dating who. Whenever a celebrity couple breaks up, they act like their sister just got cancer and then was eaten by rabid sharks (sharks can get rabies, right?). Wouldn't you like something to throw in their face, to prove that those relationships are baloney from the start? Just show them this trusty guide, and they'll be reduced to a puddle of tears. Plus, who would be better to write a guide about a ton of douche bags having sex than me? You know it has to be accurate.
Kevin FederlineXBritney Spears (Wifebeatershipping)
I'd say they look cute together, but this is supposed to be a well researched article, and I just can't let myself lie to my readers that way. A more accurate description would be that they look like they're at Larry the Cable Guy's bachelor party. So why did this er... lovely couple break up?
That probably wasn't a good start. While the couple apparently separated because of 'irreconcilable differences', I'm guessing the real reason has to do with the fact that they found out they were siblings after a family reunion at Jeff Foxworthy's house.
Paris HiltonXEverything (Anythingthatfitsshipping)
You may remember Paris Hilton's sex tape back in 2003. Oh, who am I kidding? This is the internet, you all have it book marked. Of course, back then Paris was actually attractive. Hell, she had guys all over her all the time (and possibly a few girls.) What stopped the flow of suitors? Probably the fact that they realized she looked like the alien from Species.
Does anyone else see this? O_O
Heidi MontagXSpencer Pratt (Identicalshipping)
Well, these two are so similar, a marriage between them would have to work out, right? Right!? I guess not.... The pair broke up after...irreconcilable differences
, which lead to a... huge scandal, which everyone forgot about after... about a year. Wow, this seems really familiar. Almost like I just wrote an entry about this. Two entries ago. The similarities don't end there. Just like Federline and Spears, I think the real reason behind their divorce is more obvious than we think: Heidi discovered that Spencer was an exact replica of her, but with a *****.
Seriously, they're ******* creepy looking. All dead eyed... oh God.
And our #1 failed shipping is...
Anyways, thanks for reading. You've been a great crowd. I'm Alaskapigeon, I'm part of Team VILE, all references are located in links in their respective entries, and now I'm out. ;D