Originally Posted by Raven X
RP Title: – I do not have one yet.
RP Fandom Basis: – Pokemon Ancient Times
I think the major problem with this RP is that it seems like NPCs are really running the show, whereas the only roles RPers would seem to have is just being their minions and won't really drive the storyline. In essence, it seems more like a fan fiction than an RP. Dante and Alphonso are really the ones who have all the important roles, everyone else is really just a grunt that won't be changing very much when it comes to the overall storyline. You really need to make it clear that RPers are the ones driving everything, and aren't just riding on a storyline train that they have no direction or control over.
The jewels also don't really seem that powerful, and Arceus having the ability to pop these out of nowhere to defeat and overcome Darkrai just seemed way too easy and convenient. Also, you should really try to stay away from using game stats terminology with an RP. If you read a fantasy novel, no where will you read that one character hitting another character with a weapon reduced his HP, so drop the "attack" and "special defense" stuff. It would be better to have the jewels do something a little more unique and original, and to really give them a role, a place, and a history in the storyline, and not just be a quick thing Arceus cooked up for an easy win.
To be honest, I find that most of my best RPs don't involve Arceus at all. His face shows up in RPs much too often, and if he's around, RPers often just play supporting roles around an already powerful entity.
Also, please, a "kilt" is a dress, the correct word you're looking for is "killed." Google image search it if you don't believe me. :P