Here’s my question. Why insist on using Ash and Misty and applying them to yet another journey story that essentially behaves like all the other regions save for different city/forest/cave names, but still functions the same way Kanto/Johto/Hoenn and all those other regions? Let me guess, eight gyms, evil team that steals Pokémon and tries to abuse a legendary, random battles, game corner gambling, bicycles, professors, and so on. We have all seen it before. Unless you intend on Ordo being dramatically different and think you can bring out a whole new dynamic revelation to Ash, Misty, and Richie that will leave us wowed, you’re essentially doing what’s been done before.
The real problem is that only some of your characters will be original. Meanwhile, you’re still going with the whole evil team route, which is not
original. No matter what you name them, “Team Shadow,” “Team Nightmare,” or “Team Whatever,” they’re still filling in for the same old role that Team Rocket/Aqua/Magma/Galactic have filled before. We’ve seen this already. A fan fiction is your chance to go above and beyond the confines and contexts of the anime and the games, which have been floundering with the same boring plots and situations. Are you really going above and beyond that, or is this just Stick #842,203 in the mud that couldn’t get over the norms of typical Pokémon plotlines?
Ask yourself, if you were to compare Ordo to Johto or Kanto or Hoenn, how different is it? What’s something that would make it unique and make the reader think “hey, this area is pretty new and cool” instead of “just seems like Johto again turned upside down with new names.” And since you’re bringing back Ash and Misty into this, what are your plans for them that’s going to put a whole new dynamic on their already established characters and personas? How exactly do you plan to get around what the anime has already established about them without hitting conflicting plot walls?
And one other thing:
Originally Posted by TitaniumAnimations
P.S: I write this for my own enjoyment, if you don't like it then get the h*ll (is that really a bad word?) out!
If you’re writing it for your own enjoyment, then why are you planning to post it online? You don’t post fan fictions online just to have them showered with blind praise and then shut out all the naysayers. That doesn’t get you true, quality recognition, nor does it help you improve your writing skills and highlight the areas that do need attention. Constructive criticism is there to help you improve your writing skills, not berate your work. Personally, I find it hard to get interested in your story because its reusing plot, setting, and character formulas.
Think it over some more and keep an open mind by questioning the stability, dynamism, and functionality of your setting, plot, and characters. Dare to step outside of what the games and anime do.