Thread: I'm On a Boat.
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Old 09-06-2009, 03:38 AM
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Sequentio Offline
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Default Re: I'm On a Boat.

That's right. You did describe Magikarp's color. =o

Anywho, when you're done - PM me. Again, I'd be more than happy to regrade the story. (And I'm sure it'll be a capture!)

EDIT: Wow. A lot better! =D
I enjoyed the background information you provided. It was exactly what I asked for.

You also added in detail about the questions I had.

Jack wondered if maybe that was the Magikarp's father and it didn't want it anymore, and that's how it got on the boat in the first place.
I loved that. It made me laugh. (Especially since I probably wouldn't want it either. *laughs*)

I still wished you described Jack more. His personality is spot-on, but I don't know what he looks like.

However, everything else was fixed and I'm glad to say, Magikarp Captured!
Just work on that detail and grammar stuff in future stories, alright? =D

Last edited by Sequentio; 09-07-2009 at 03:03 AM.
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