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Old 08-04-2009, 08:58 AM
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Graceful_Suicune Offline
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Default Re: ~ Eternity of Time ~ Prologue Up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle8936 View Post
<Oh haha… hey wait!>[/I] The Eevee shouted as he noticed Iyoku leaving without him. Catching up to him and keeping up at an easy trot, Shourai asked more seriously, [I]<So do you have any idea of where the first Guardian is?>
Comma after 'Oh', 'hey' and 'So'.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle8936 View Post
“No unfortunately… but what I read in that library entailed that the trio of Uxie, Mesprit and Azelf are all found at lakes…
Comma after 'No'.

“Er…” He muttered,

In places like this, you should have a capital 'H'. The only time you have a capital after speech is if it's a new sentence. Also make sure you never have just one full stop to end speech unless it's the end of a sentence. ;P

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle8936 View Post
“Calm down kid... I mean you no harm.
Comma after 'down'.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle8936 View Post
Iyoku shook his head, “and just why would I tell what my business is to someone like you?” He asked, starting to get a little nervous while Nazo kept his eyes on him.
Personally I'd not make the 'a' a lowercase. =/ Because it's not part of a previous sentence's speech. Also, again, the capital 'H' in 'He' should be lowercase. This happens quite a few times--I'll leave you to find them on your own. ;P

And lol, Kris, that's exactly what I did with chapter one! xD I swear I saved it, but yeah. :P Disappeared. :3 Well, I'm about to read chapter two, and when I do I'll catch those pesky typos. :D (Hopefully xD)

~Xanthe.
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