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Old 04-10-2009, 06:54 PM
Apollo the Incinermyn's Avatar
Apollo the Incinermyn Offline
Amateur Trainer
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 72
Default Re: Behind the Eyes of Cipher

Beginning of chapter one seems a little text-bookish right off the bat, but awesome imagery nonetheless. Dark-themed stories are lacking in Pokemon fan fiction nowadays, so I'm glad to see someone else taking an interest in doing them again. Team-perspective fics usually aren't too good, but this seems really solid. Can't wait to see how this unfolds!

Edit: I see that you seem to have a thing for using "like" in comparisons. Cut down on that when you can. Use "as" or "such as" if you can because it sounds a little more professional.
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