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Old 11-01-2008, 09:52 AM
Scytherwolf's Avatar
Scytherwolf Offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Hiding from metal coats...
Posts: 6,988
Default Re: Pokemon: Team StormRiders

Wow really cool chapter! I found a few typos though.

Quote:
I closed m eyes for a brief second
my

Quote:
She told me that the poison had only been temporary; that Balian sill cared about her too much to kill her.
still

Quote:
I saw it looked almost exactly like myself, only slighter larger and more graceful
slightly

Quote:
I glanced down at my stomach nd removed the bandages
and
Quote:
“Then how will you fair?!”
fare


The story is getting really more interesting. I liked the part with the ancient temple and Altair. Also, I really hope that they'll find a way to solve whatever happened to Rye soon. D=

I liked that you gave Zanna healing powers, but didn't make it so that she could cure others instantly without a problem-that would be too easy. I'm guessing it will be hard for her to learn the other powers that Light pokémon have, and they won't be easy to use either. I'm looking forward to the next one!
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