Thread: [Pokemon] Mind Whisperer
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Old 08-17-2008, 08:56 AM
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Scytherwolf Offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Hiding from metal coats...
Posts: 6,989
Default Re: Mind Whisperer

Ok, first of all, thanks to everyone who commented on this, and I'm sorry I like, COMPLETELY FORGOT about this thread for a while. >.< (I was on vacation though, so that's part of the reason. xD I was also caught up with writing The Path of Destiny...and I was all paranoid that this chapter turned out bad. x_x)

I just got re-inspired for this though so I will be continuing this soon! Also, I'm glad the description didn't seem so bad, I got really frustrated with it while writing-so many pokémon at once! DX I'm also glad that it seems interesting-some people seem to be tired of all the new mystery dungeon stories and I was worried it might not seem very interesting. But I guess it is, so YAY! =D

And now I shall answer the questions without giving spoilers:

Larvinator:

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Using lush twice makes the sentence a bit choppy and distracting. Maybe you could say healthy trees instead?

Same thing here with dark. Maybe shadowy and hostile?
Yeah, I know what you mean by that. Dunno why I didn't catch that before. >.<

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And the other mild problem was with the dreaded semicolons.
Yeah...I'm always kind of unsure of when to use a comma or a semicolon. Hopefully I'll get better at that.

Azurai:

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What happened to the pokemon who were supposed to be rescuing the Minun and Glameow? Maybe...nah, not likely. I was just thinking that Kinje would be given the mission to look for them, and look what he finds! :o
The minun and glameow in the prologue were in a different area. Sunny town is not the only town/city and so the rescue/exploration teams will be different there. You'll find out more about what happens to the team that went looking for them and all that later.

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And the Oran berry thing...there has to be more to it...THE GUILDMASTER WANTS ORAN BERRIES TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
No.
Here's a more sane and likely thing: Oran berries just incase they get attacked my Mr. Odd Hungry Mightyena. Yep, I found the pokemon odd. Either odd Mightyena is scared of Oran berries or they're just there to heal the rescuing pokemon.
Yeah, the mightyena was supposed to be odd. And I don't really understand what you mean about the oran berries. The Guildmaster makes it a requirement that teams have to bring a certain amount of them every time they go on missions. Sayu's team was annoyed that they had to have them because they had plenty of other supplies and she didn't like having to spend more of her team's money.

Grassy:

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Everyone seems to distrust scythers...I don't know why. I like scythers ^.^
Not everyone distrusts scythers; in fact, most of the young pokémon don't. It's mainly the older, adult pokémon who are distrustful, and there is a reason for that.

Kris:
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Yay! It's a story with an Arbok! ^o^ I like Arbok.
As far as technical stuff goes, anything I was gonna say has already been pointed out. So I don't have to worry about that.
This sounds different, and that is always a good thing. ^^
And did I mention that you have an Arbok as a main character!?
I like it Scy!
*patiently waits for another chapter*
Don't worry, I'm going to start writing this again soon. xD Glad you like the arbok idea; I've always liked snake pokémon. :3

Scalec:

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Why is it no one ever trusts Poisin, Dark, or Sythers? Sure, they trust Sythers evolved form...but do they trust Sythers? OF COURSE NOT!
Honestly, its hard to find people nowadays who look past the outside.
Not everyone is distrustful, and those who are have a REALLY good reason to be, which you'll find out later...


And sorry I couldn't answer everyone's comment, but I tried to answer the questions people had. I'll be better at answering comments next time and I'm glad people liked this! I hope readers will still be interested in this story and if you have any questions, ask me!
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Last edited by Scytherwolf; 08-17-2008 at 09:08 AM.
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