Thread: Jack's Quest
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Old 04-14-2008, 10:37 AM
Gem N Ems's Avatar
Gem N Ems Offline
Kage no Hikari.
 
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Default Re: Jack's Quest

Well, that was better.

You need to go back and fix some mistakes. The battle could have used more descibing, and a longer length would have been good.

It's getting better, but still has a cliche ring to it.
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