Thread: Jack's Quest
View Single Post
  #4  
Old 04-13-2008, 01:48 AM
Gem N Ems's Avatar
Gem N Ems Offline
Kage no Hikari.
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: In my own world.
Posts: 6,807
Send a message via AIM to Gem N Ems Send a message via MSN to Gem N Ems Send a message via Skype™ to Gem N Ems
Default Re: Jack's Quest

Yeah...you should work on your dialogue and formatting.
I caught a few spelling mistakes too.

As for the story, it really is a cliche and people might not bother to read it.
Needs much more desciption and a better sense of describing things.

You should take a look here to help get you started.
http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/foru...ead.php?t=8501

Keep up your work.
__________________

Team StormRiders is BACK. Read it here!
.......................--> art duo with: Xanthe | bff: k_pop |
Links