Thread: Love = Sex?
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Old 12-10-2007, 01:59 AM
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Default Re: Love = Sex?

Originally Posted by TheScottMan View Post
As Mario has mentioned, sex can be both. To most people, sex is something done to either be 'cool' or just as a recreation (usually true with people who are younger nowadays. Mostly with men, who find sex a competition of sorts and try to have sex with as many people as possible. For men this exists until they've hit the maturity to control these base emotions. It's a form of maturity, not maturity in general fellahs). So labeling the fact that you have to love someone to have sex can't be true. Early on in life it's because a man's hormone's are leading them to it, while the girl is pressured by friends and society (as well as the guy himself) to do things. Well, usually.

Later it's used for 'fun,' though I can't really say I condone this. To me, sex without love is really hollow and is just lacking that one spark that makes it a truly gratifying experience. It's kinda like having a Halo game without Master Chief, and instead with a gun-toting Shadow the Hedgehog.

But this really gets into the argument of love, because you might think you love someone but later find out you didn't and wish you didn't have sex with them. And obviously you can love friends and family without having sex with them.

However, once you get older and mature, I believe that sex is the ultimate act of expression. The whole 'sharing the experience' with the person you want to be true to, and only sharing yourself with them. Which is a reason why I don't believe in sexless love, it makes it less special when you finally do love someone. In a man-wife relationship it's not the only way to show your love, but with the right mentalities it is the thing to best show it with actions.

I also don't think you need to be married to do this. If two people both go into it thinking how special it is instead of how good it feels, then it becomes something like a promise to the other, and an action that could carry some very special feelings for both individuals. It has a lot to do with the mentality of both going into it.

Though I would call this 'making love,' while sex is doing it just for pleasure itself.

So while you can love someone without sex, I believe it ties into it because it's the biggest thing you can do with someone you love.
I've had sex for fun a lot, and although the pleasure is there "at the time", I'm sure when I find "the one" it'll be a lot better, hopefully. As you said, you may think you like someone, but then you find out they're having sex for the exact same reason you were having it with others; for fun.

I want to be optimistic and say when I find THE certain someone, the spark will be there, but it hasn't happened yet.