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Old 05-19-2007, 03:46 PM
The Maple Syrup Baptist Offline
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Default Re: Pokemon: the quest to find a Lucario

Ummm...

Ok, there are grammar and spelling problems nigh every sentence. You spelled realize and realise in one line (it's realize BTW), and names are ALWAYS capitalized.

The story starts uninspired and without purpose. It's like me waking up and walking outside, and some guy comes up to me and says "Hey, 2 blocks down I saw a new guitar laying on the road!" I'd ask this guy if he was high.

I've read some Fan Fiction, and it's much longer than this. This is short and not sweet.

And Lucario can't learn Ice Beam. Just because it's a Fan Fic doesn't allow the sacrafice of some realism...

I'd give it, so far, 1/10, being completely honest.
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